Maya hanging in Mexico

Maya in her rapper outfit with a giant flan!


Sergio with his nephew (Maya's new boyfriend??) and Maya


Cute...


Maya's new friend Sergio

Maya in Mexico, Mama & Papa in Abu Dhabi

Firstly, I've been overwhelmed by all the love out there. So many amazingly supportive messages here, on Facebook & email. It's been waterworks all week! Why is it that messages of support make me cry so much?

Last week, since that stinky Tuesday which had me howling with rage and frustration in Pepi's courtyard, I spent four days manically trying to get everything in place to leave Maya with her new foster family & packing up and leaving Tijuana. On Friday, Fiona, the twins, Maya & I went to Myrna's house. Myrna, her two daughters, & her niece and her husband will be looking after Maya until we can bring her home. They are a wonderful family, full of love, and they looked after the twins before Fiona arrived in Mexico. That's another benefit. Maya will still have contact with Fiona & the twins, as she loves playing with them. Margot & Maya especially enjoy each other's company and sit there giggling at each other, while Margot's brother Clifford sits between them wondering why the girls aren't giggling at him. I have a feeling they'll be firm friends throughout their lives. Fiona's, the twins' mummy, also spent the rest of the week taking care of me, and particularly, ensuring I didn't spend the whole week just eating biscuits. She's not only the best cook I've ever met, but also an amazingly kind & insightful person. All this on top of looking after two active, gorgeous little babies.

Here's Myrna, Maya, the twins, Myrna's niece and husband in their home. They also have a dance studio attached to their house, which is an amazing space for an about-to-walk baby to cruise around. Full of Swiss Balls, mirrors, carpeted and an amazing sound system. Maya will return to us doing the samba.

Now back in Abu Dhabi. Confused by all the new traffic systems. We're waiting to hear how long it's likely to be until BM is out of her gigantic pickle and ready to sign off. The logistic details of our near future are uncertain, but one thing is for sure: soon Maya will be here with us, terrorising Pickles the cat, swimming in the pool at the Club, charming all the neighbours with her gigantic grins, being her unstoppable, inquisitive, adventurous self with her mama & papa in tow.

The post I dreaded writing

BM didn't sign today and I feel like our world has ended. I'm going back to Abu Dhabi as soon as I can. BM says she will sign in about 2 or 3 months, when the major problem in her life will be over, and when she does, one of us will come back and pick up Maya then. I can't bear to look at Maya, as it's breaking my heart to think I'm leaving her. The alternative is more frightening, it's a black, terrifying abyss of going over the edge of sanity. Maya doesn't deserve to be looked after by the person I would be if I stayed here. Ahmed equally doesn't deserve to live with the wrecked shell who's going to arrive back in Abu Dhabi. Why is this so hard? Because there is the terrifying uncertainty of there never being an end to our case. Moving to Mexico may be our only option, and frankly, for our daughter, we would do anything.

Ants & butterflies

I have ants in my pants. I can't sit still and sleeping last night was hardly on the agenda. This afternoon at 2.00pm, Licenciada Carolina, 3rd secretary of Judge Licenciada Dalila from the First Family Court of Tijuana, has an appointment to see Maya's birth mother, for her third attempt (last two were 28th Nov and 9th Dec) to get her ratification of her earlier signature and consent to the adoption and final signature on the adoption documents. This is that one crazy little detail we've been waiting for since October 29th, and given the promises of BM to finally pull through, we desperately, desperately hope that this time it'll happen. If it does, I can picture the jubilation. Am filling in the long minutes until that time as best as possible. Fiona and the twins have been doing a marvellous job of distracting me over the past few days with trips and yummy food.