Maya was born in the Chinese Year of the Rat - industrious, ambitious, loyal & loving.
We just had our Night of the Rat. I was sitting at my computer in the kitchen (the only place in the house where the wireless reception picks up), pleasantly minding my own business, while Ahmed was catching up on his latest TV series. A big, fat rat casually walked straight past my feet. I screamed. Rat jumped for his life and took off under the kitchen door out into the garage. We think. We hope. He could be still holed up behind the fridge. In the oven. Under the sink.
Mr. Rat is the latest in a string of unwelcome guests here. The minor ones: spiders and flying red ants. The pesky ones: mosquitoes and flies. The downright disgusting and hard-to-get-rid-of ones: fleas. Pepi's dog is covered in fleas and parades around outside, so as soon as I've vacuumed and washed everything, I think they're just jumping off Keefie the dog, back into our house.
Ah, we're looking forward to life in sterile Abu Dhabi and our hermetically sealed apartment. I guess the trade-off is no garden.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
No crazy rush this week
Maya's eying up my hair, waiting for a chance to give it a good pull! Scallywag. This photo has no link thematically to this entry, it's just a cute picture. Who can resist putting the cute ones in?
If the DIF report had been ready today to go to court and our judge had given us the thumbs up, Ahmed was going to take this Thursday off work (pre-arranged with his boss, who really is very sympathetic to our crazy case). He would have jumped on a plane in Abu Dhabi at 6pm on Wed night, arrived 24 hours or so later in San Diego at 11am (though with his track record of being 'inspected' through the US, we were allowing for his arrival on the later flight from Washington DC at 2.30pm), made a mad dash to the border, raced to court for our hearing on Thursday afternoon, given Maya and me a quick peck on the cheek, before turning around to fly out of San Diego on Friday midday back to Abu Dhabi, arriving at midnight Saturday there, ready to teach a full day and evening classes on Sunday. Phew. Poor bloke is still battling the jetlag from this previous trip.
Turns out our report is ready (yay!), but... scungebag (I might remove this insult in a day or two when I'm no longer so mad at her) Solis, the yukky lady from Mexicali DIF who's been putting her spanner in our works since June, has requested all the reports go to her before they get released from DIF. She'll probably sit on it, painting her toenails, making us sweat, for a week or two. Better not, or we'll get our hound dogs onto her!! In real life, that means our poor, stressed out lawyer Aida and her human rights lawyer friends calling her up and harrassing her to release it.
Ah well. Our next window of opportunity is the last week of October, when Ahmed has a few non-teaching days, which are meant to be spent marking students' essays. Another round of calling on a bunch of favours from his wonderful colleagues. We'll have a lot of making up to do when we're back to normal life to assuage our guilty consciences. Or mine at least. Ahmed is blessed with a much healthier conscience. Enough rambling from me.
Friday, October 3, 2008
El otro lado
San Diego. The other side. It's so completely the other side, like entering a different world. A rich and plentiful world, where shops have aisles and aisles of things you never knew you needed, but they're so nice and bright and pretty and they'd look good in your house/on your body/in your fridge. And you find yourself leaving each shop with several of these items in your possession, wondering how that happened and marvelling at how much lighter your wallet is. I bought four pairs of shoes in less than an hour today, and am still reeling. I think being on a strict budget at the moment made me just go: aaaargh, stuff it, today I'm going to indulge! They were all cheap shoes, sandals and the like. So that's how I'll justify it to myself.
Speaking of shoes, whose tiny shoes are those on the right???
The other day Ahmed, Maya and I went for a walk down to the sea, and the tide was a long way out, so that the end of the US-Mexico border fence, which is usually quite a way out to sea, was sitting rather dejectedly halfway up the beach, with a good 20 metres of sandy beach below it. Was tempted to just go and stick a foot on 'el otro lado' and poke my tongue out at the beach on the other side, but I'm sure some hidden border control guard wouldn't have found that funny.
Ahmed's flight from San Diego left at 10.50am on Friday morning, so to avoid any complications and delays at the border, we left Maya with Guadalupe on Thursday night and stayed the night in San Diego. Wow, crossing at 5.30pm took us exactly 15 minutes!!! Such a short queue, and no questions from border control. Wow.
We had a lovely evening, mainly spent at Borders and Barnes & Noble, two huge bookstores, and then had one of those rare, uninterrupted sleeps that all new parents dream of.
When I got back to Playas on Friday, Maya was happy as a flea. She's always very relaxed after Guadalupe has been, and always seems to sleep better afterwards. Must find out what Guadalupe's trick is... Ahmed tries to tell me she just wakes up in the night more with me because she wants to chat, but I don't buy that theory! Actually I can't complain. She goes to sleep every night at 7pm and wakes up at 7am, with one or two calls for room service in between.
Speaking of shoes, whose tiny shoes are those on the right???
The other day Ahmed, Maya and I went for a walk down to the sea, and the tide was a long way out, so that the end of the US-Mexico border fence, which is usually quite a way out to sea, was sitting rather dejectedly halfway up the beach, with a good 20 metres of sandy beach below it. Was tempted to just go and stick a foot on 'el otro lado' and poke my tongue out at the beach on the other side, but I'm sure some hidden border control guard wouldn't have found that funny.
Ahmed's flight from San Diego left at 10.50am on Friday morning, so to avoid any complications and delays at the border, we left Maya with Guadalupe on Thursday night and stayed the night in San Diego. Wow, crossing at 5.30pm took us exactly 15 minutes!!! Such a short queue, and no questions from border control. Wow.
We had a lovely evening, mainly spent at Borders and Barnes & Noble, two huge bookstores, and then had one of those rare, uninterrupted sleeps that all new parents dream of.
When I got back to Playas on Friday, Maya was happy as a flea. She's always very relaxed after Guadalupe has been, and always seems to sleep better afterwards. Must find out what Guadalupe's trick is... Ahmed tries to tell me she just wakes up in the night more with me because she wants to chat, but I don't buy that theory! Actually I can't complain. She goes to sleep every night at 7pm and wakes up at 7am, with one or two calls for room service in between.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Our best case scenario week in retrospect
Saturday, 27th Sept:
We did have a super Saturday. Our interviews were great (see Licenciado Bugs Bunny post), and we had a celebratory meal at the 1/2 Naranja Cafe. It was an all-round good day, about the best here so far.
We came out of the interviews feeling that the "slightly possible" chance of getting the court hearing done within the week was becoming a "quite possible".
Sunday, 28th Sept:
We did relax and catch up on sleep in Playas. We were all too tired to meet up with our friends, so stayed around Playas. Very nice lazy day.
Monday, 29th Sept:
We had our final interview with Lic. Sanchez, which was great. She's very sympathetic to our case, and said she and the other two would do everything they could to get the report written in the least possible time. She didn't say the report would be ready on Tuesday, rather Thursday evening or Friday morning. So, we started to think about Ahmed changing his flights to leave on Saturday, instead of Friday morning, from San Diego. And started to pin our hopes on a court appearance on Friday.
At Gobernacion, my FM3 visa was sorted out, with a $100 fine, for entering the country. Tecate Gobernacion decided that yes, we do need to pay for the visas again, but only $100 each, so not the full $350 each like the first time. So that's good (ish), I guess.
Two quick drives back to Playas de Tijuana for forgotten documents during the day, and finally at about 7pm, we got home, exhausted from all the driving around and time spent in government offices to find a beautiful big bunch of flowers on the doorstep. Thanks again Heike!! A really lovely end to a long but fruitful day.
Tuesday, 30th Sept: Aida went to Tecate today to renew Ahmed's FM3 visa today. So that's done, thankfully. We are so grateful that we didn't need to do that long, hot trip again, with a poor sweaty baby in the back seat.
Ahmed called American Airlines to see if he could change his flights. He also emailed his boss to request one day of leave next week. American Airlines was totally full, and there were no flights until the following Monday. So, we were looking at buying another one-way ticket for the Saturday, but decided to wait until we heard from the court.
Wednesday, 1st Oct: Today was unfortunately not quite the crazy, loud, dancing-in-the-streets celebration we had in mind. Ahmed's feeling terribly guilty, as although he's been granted an extra day of leave next week, he's been told it's the last time. He has not felt comfortable constantly asking for all these favours, but we've been at the mercy of all the government officials processing our case. But then, it turned out he didn't need to request the day off, as the judge has said even if the report arrives on Thur or Fri, the earliest she can review the report and see us is Tuesday next week. So, no need to change flights, no need to take a day off work. No need to scrape together our witnesses here.
We did go to Gymboree and had a ball, as always. We had a nice lunch with Anna & Yara afterwards, so that part came true!
Thursday, 2nd Oct: Today. This morning at 9.30am, the social worker from DIF showed up unexpectedly to see where we are living. Luckily we were dressed and despite the suitcases being prepared, the house isn't too much of a tip and looks very baby-friendly. We are off to San Diego tonight, for Ahmed's early morning flight tomorrow. With his border crossing woes, we're not taking any chances, and Guadalupe's coming over tonight.
Ahmed's next possibility of coming over here is for just a day or two around the 29th October, four weeks away. Again, many favours from his work, boss, colleagues. Ah well. At least the end is almost in sight, and having these interviews from DIF completed is a huge relief.
P.S. Thanks for all the best wishes from so many people this week. We really feel so lucky to have such a supportive family and great friends all over the world sending us their love and hopes for a day when we can finally come home. Cheers!
We did have a super Saturday. Our interviews were great (see Licenciado Bugs Bunny post), and we had a celebratory meal at the 1/2 Naranja Cafe. It was an all-round good day, about the best here so far.
We came out of the interviews feeling that the "slightly possible" chance of getting the court hearing done within the week was becoming a "quite possible".
Sunday, 28th Sept:
We did relax and catch up on sleep in Playas. We were all too tired to meet up with our friends, so stayed around Playas. Very nice lazy day.
Monday, 29th Sept:
We had our final interview with Lic. Sanchez, which was great. She's very sympathetic to our case, and said she and the other two would do everything they could to get the report written in the least possible time. She didn't say the report would be ready on Tuesday, rather Thursday evening or Friday morning. So, we started to think about Ahmed changing his flights to leave on Saturday, instead of Friday morning, from San Diego. And started to pin our hopes on a court appearance on Friday.
At Gobernacion, my FM3 visa was sorted out, with a $100 fine, for entering the country. Tecate Gobernacion decided that yes, we do need to pay for the visas again, but only $100 each, so not the full $350 each like the first time. So that's good (ish), I guess.
Two quick drives back to Playas de Tijuana for forgotten documents during the day, and finally at about 7pm, we got home, exhausted from all the driving around and time spent in government offices to find a beautiful big bunch of flowers on the doorstep. Thanks again Heike!! A really lovely end to a long but fruitful day.
Tuesday, 30th Sept: Aida went to Tecate today to renew Ahmed's FM3 visa today. So that's done, thankfully. We are so grateful that we didn't need to do that long, hot trip again, with a poor sweaty baby in the back seat.
Ahmed called American Airlines to see if he could change his flights. He also emailed his boss to request one day of leave next week. American Airlines was totally full, and there were no flights until the following Monday. So, we were looking at buying another one-way ticket for the Saturday, but decided to wait until we heard from the court.
Wednesday, 1st Oct: Today was unfortunately not quite the crazy, loud, dancing-in-the-streets celebration we had in mind. Ahmed's feeling terribly guilty, as although he's been granted an extra day of leave next week, he's been told it's the last time. He has not felt comfortable constantly asking for all these favours, but we've been at the mercy of all the government officials processing our case. But then, it turned out he didn't need to request the day off, as the judge has said even if the report arrives on Thur or Fri, the earliest she can review the report and see us is Tuesday next week. So, no need to change flights, no need to take a day off work. No need to scrape together our witnesses here.
We did go to Gymboree and had a ball, as always. We had a nice lunch with Anna & Yara afterwards, so that part came true!
Thursday, 2nd Oct: Today. This morning at 9.30am, the social worker from DIF showed up unexpectedly to see where we are living. Luckily we were dressed and despite the suitcases being prepared, the house isn't too much of a tip and looks very baby-friendly. We are off to San Diego tonight, for Ahmed's early morning flight tomorrow. With his border crossing woes, we're not taking any chances, and Guadalupe's coming over tonight.
Ahmed's next possibility of coming over here is for just a day or two around the 29th October, four weeks away. Again, many favours from his work, boss, colleagues. Ah well. At least the end is almost in sight, and having these interviews from DIF completed is a huge relief.
P.S. Thanks for all the best wishes from so many people this week. We really feel so lucky to have such a supportive family and great friends all over the world sending us their love and hopes for a day when we can finally come home. Cheers!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
We love you Licenciado Bugs Bunny!!
Yesterday morning at the crack of dawn, Ahmed, Maya and I got up, prepared ourselves with all kinds of equipment (baby gym, front pack, bottles, formula, nappies, breakfast & lunch for us, spare clothes, magazines for the long waits, and untold other bits and pieces) and drove to DIF for our 8am interview with the psychologist. We were ready to draw pictures of ourselves (it's been done before, so we practised beforehand!), had written out all our birthdates and those of all our immediate family and their immediate families, had our one word to describe our daughter ready, had practised the pages of interview questions from other adopting families who've kindly provided them.
The psychologist came out to meet us for our interview and we both breathed huge internal sighs of relief. He was just wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. Wearing a t-shirt with 'Estar Guars' on it - try saying that with your best Spanish accent to see which film that might relate to. Ahmed was instantly smitten. He basically told us he hardly needed to interview us as he could see we were clearly Maya's parents and ready to be a family. He could see she was so happy with us. No scary pictures to draw or wacky one word answers, thankfully. He was deeply embarrassed and apologetic about the huge delays we'd had up till this point. He ranted for a full five minutes about the crazy bureaucracy we'd had to deal with, and how the development of the baby is obviously best when she's surrounded by both parents, and how could the bureaucrats stopping us not see that? He promised to type like a crazed 'bugs bunny' - his words, not mine - to get the report written and to his supervisor by Tuesday, straight after he'd interviewed the biological mother. We both fell madly, deeply, truly in love with this guy.
We then had our interview with the social worker. Again, a lovely, lovely, sympathetic woman, who had unfortunately lost her voice, so conducted the interview in a whisper. Again, she promised to get the report written as quickly as possible. One wee hitch: her meeting with the biological mother isn't until Wednesday, which means a very tight margin. (Tight margin? Small margin? My collocations are out of whack today)
We had our celebratory coffee and smoothies at the 1/2 Naranja Cafe and felt the beginnings of our perma-grins.
The psychologist came out to meet us for our interview and we both breathed huge internal sighs of relief. He was just wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. Wearing a t-shirt with 'Estar Guars' on it - try saying that with your best Spanish accent to see which film that might relate to. Ahmed was instantly smitten. He basically told us he hardly needed to interview us as he could see we were clearly Maya's parents and ready to be a family. He could see she was so happy with us. No scary pictures to draw or wacky one word answers, thankfully. He was deeply embarrassed and apologetic about the huge delays we'd had up till this point. He ranted for a full five minutes about the crazy bureaucracy we'd had to deal with, and how the development of the baby is obviously best when she's surrounded by both parents, and how could the bureaucrats stopping us not see that? He promised to type like a crazed 'bugs bunny' - his words, not mine - to get the report written and to his supervisor by Tuesday, straight after he'd interviewed the biological mother. We both fell madly, deeply, truly in love with this guy.
We then had our interview with the social worker. Again, a lovely, lovely, sympathetic woman, who had unfortunately lost her voice, so conducted the interview in a whisper. Again, she promised to get the report written as quickly as possible. One wee hitch: her meeting with the biological mother isn't until Wednesday, which means a very tight margin. (Tight margin? Small margin? My collocations are out of whack today)
We had our celebratory coffee and smoothies at the 1/2 Naranja Cafe and felt the beginnings of our perma-grins.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The best case scenario, aka Ahmed & Emma's dream week
I'm taking a leaf from Ahmed's book ('The Secret') and going to create our reality, so here it is. Our week from today:
Saturday, 27th Sept: We are going for the first two of our three DIF interviews, with the psychologist at 8am and the social worker at 11am. They are both going to be super sympathetic about the length of time we've been in this game, and will do everything they can to speed our report through. They'll both agree that we are a fantastic family and will write a glowing report. We'll go out for a celebratory lunch in our favourite cafe in Tijuana: 1/2 Naranja Cafe, and just have an all-round good day.
Sunday, 28th Sept: Relax and catch up on sleep in Playas. Meet Anna, Hector & Yara for a movie in the afternoon and some lunch.
Monday, 29th Sept: We will have the third and final DIF interview, with Lic. Sanchez, the adoption coordinator, who we already know loves Maya, and is doing everything she can to speed our case through. She'll tell us that our report will be ready on Tuesday, as they're going to work like crazy to get it done in time for us to squeeze in the court appearance before Ahmed leaves.
We'll go to Gobernacion to sort out our FM3 visas, which have expired after only 90 days, and they'll agree that it was crazy to make us pay the same for that 3 month visa in Tecate as everyone else has paid for a year-long one in Tijuana, so will extend our visas free-of-charge. Plus they'll refund us the other $700 for the visas we didn't get in Tijuana. Nice...
Tuesday, 30th Sept: Aida the lawyer will call us in the afternoon to say that the DIF report is ready, and she's going to take it to the court and our judge that afternoon. We'll have a relaxing day in Playas and go to the Gymboree music class, so Maya's papa can see her playing the bongo, dancing and shaking her booty to the tunes.
Wednesday, 1st Oct: Aida will call us to say that the judge has reviewed the (glowing) report from DIF, and we can go in for our court hearing on Thursday morning. We will breathe a gigantic sigh of relief and dance like fools around the living room, out in the courtyard and down the street. We won't need to email anyone to tell them, as we'll be celebrating so loudly, they'll hear us in Canada, New Zealand, UAE, etc... We'll go to Gymboree in the afternoon, so Ahmed can see Maya in her new level 2 class, and have lunch with Anna and Yara afterwards, all relaxed & happy.
Thursday, 2nd Oct: We'll go to court and have our hearing, and then two of our biggest hurdles so far will be over. Our teeth will be visible for weeks afterwards as the grinning just won't stop.
Friday, 3rd Oct: We will still be grinning when we cross the border to take Ahmed back to San Diego airport to fly back to Abu Dhabi. The border guard won't know what to do with two crazy people, so he'll shrug his shoulders and wave us through. Though it will be sad to say goodbye to Ahmed again, we knew we'll be seeing him again so, so soon. Our guess: 6 more weeks.
Saturday, 27th Sept: We are going for the first two of our three DIF interviews, with the psychologist at 8am and the social worker at 11am. They are both going to be super sympathetic about the length of time we've been in this game, and will do everything they can to speed our report through. They'll both agree that we are a fantastic family and will write a glowing report. We'll go out for a celebratory lunch in our favourite cafe in Tijuana: 1/2 Naranja Cafe, and just have an all-round good day.
Sunday, 28th Sept: Relax and catch up on sleep in Playas. Meet Anna, Hector & Yara for a movie in the afternoon and some lunch.
Monday, 29th Sept: We will have the third and final DIF interview, with Lic. Sanchez, the adoption coordinator, who we already know loves Maya, and is doing everything she can to speed our case through. She'll tell us that our report will be ready on Tuesday, as they're going to work like crazy to get it done in time for us to squeeze in the court appearance before Ahmed leaves.
We'll go to Gobernacion to sort out our FM3 visas, which have expired after only 90 days, and they'll agree that it was crazy to make us pay the same for that 3 month visa in Tecate as everyone else has paid for a year-long one in Tijuana, so will extend our visas free-of-charge. Plus they'll refund us the other $700 for the visas we didn't get in Tijuana. Nice...
Tuesday, 30th Sept: Aida the lawyer will call us in the afternoon to say that the DIF report is ready, and she's going to take it to the court and our judge that afternoon. We'll have a relaxing day in Playas and go to the Gymboree music class, so Maya's papa can see her playing the bongo, dancing and shaking her booty to the tunes.
Wednesday, 1st Oct: Aida will call us to say that the judge has reviewed the (glowing) report from DIF, and we can go in for our court hearing on Thursday morning. We will breathe a gigantic sigh of relief and dance like fools around the living room, out in the courtyard and down the street. We won't need to email anyone to tell them, as we'll be celebrating so loudly, they'll hear us in Canada, New Zealand, UAE, etc... We'll go to Gymboree in the afternoon, so Ahmed can see Maya in her new level 2 class, and have lunch with Anna and Yara afterwards, all relaxed & happy.
Thursday, 2nd Oct: We'll go to court and have our hearing, and then two of our biggest hurdles so far will be over. Our teeth will be visible for weeks afterwards as the grinning just won't stop.
Friday, 3rd Oct: We will still be grinning when we cross the border to take Ahmed back to San Diego airport to fly back to Abu Dhabi. The border guard won't know what to do with two crazy people, so he'll shrug his shoulders and wave us through. Though it will be sad to say goodbye to Ahmed again, we knew we'll be seeing him again so, so soon. Our guess: 6 more weeks.
Flying Via the USA
To get to Tijuana, the quickest, cheapest and most convenient route is to fly into San Diego and then drive over to TJ. The drive back takes about 20 minutes from San Diego airport, a short time by any city's standards.
So Ahmed booked his flights to San Diego, flying American Airlines, arriving at 5.25pm on Friday 26th September. I drove to San Diego to pick him up, via the two hour border queue and Whole Foods to stock up on yummy goodies.
The Dallas/Fort Worth flight arrived, everyone got off the plane, picked up their luggage, but no Ahmed. I sat at the airport crying - this is the end of a super stressful couple of weeks (make that: months), and I couldn't think how he could contact me, and frankly, I couldn't deal with yet another setback. Turns out he was on the following flight, having missed his connection, due to yet another two hour 'Welcome to the USA' interview. Lucky guy gets to have chats with the charming US immigration officials every time he enters that precious country.
Odd how the only two other people being interrogated were from the Middle East. Nothing random in that selection, I believe. No blue-eyed blondies frequenting the secondary inspection office. Ironically part of Ahmed's hold-up was thanks to another blue-eyed blondie. Many months ago, when Ahmed took his parents back to the airport, he offered a lift to a shopping mall across the border to a blond, blue-eyed Norwegian, Nikolai. He and his wife are also in the process of adopting here. In Nikolai's position at a shipping company, he frequently travels to such scary nations as Saudi Arabia, Iran and Pakistan. With those visas in his passport, their simple trip to the airport/shopping mall turned into a six-hour nightmare of interrogation at the border. The repercussions of that trip are that now Ahmed has to answer questions about Nikolai on his entrance into the USA. Where was he born? What's his job? etc, etc. About a guy who Ahmed has spent maybe one hour with aside from that border crossing.
Moral of the story: don't offer to take people you don't really know to the USA in your car.
We do not intend to visit the USA or fly American Airlines after this adoption, if there is any possible way to avoid it.
So Ahmed booked his flights to San Diego, flying American Airlines, arriving at 5.25pm on Friday 26th September. I drove to San Diego to pick him up, via the two hour border queue and Whole Foods to stock up on yummy goodies.
The Dallas/Fort Worth flight arrived, everyone got off the plane, picked up their luggage, but no Ahmed. I sat at the airport crying - this is the end of a super stressful couple of weeks (make that: months), and I couldn't think how he could contact me, and frankly, I couldn't deal with yet another setback. Turns out he was on the following flight, having missed his connection, due to yet another two hour 'Welcome to the USA' interview. Lucky guy gets to have chats with the charming US immigration officials every time he enters that precious country.
Odd how the only two other people being interrogated were from the Middle East. Nothing random in that selection, I believe. No blue-eyed blondies frequenting the secondary inspection office. Ironically part of Ahmed's hold-up was thanks to another blue-eyed blondie. Many months ago, when Ahmed took his parents back to the airport, he offered a lift to a shopping mall across the border to a blond, blue-eyed Norwegian, Nikolai. He and his wife are also in the process of adopting here. In Nikolai's position at a shipping company, he frequently travels to such scary nations as Saudi Arabia, Iran and Pakistan. With those visas in his passport, their simple trip to the airport/shopping mall turned into a six-hour nightmare of interrogation at the border. The repercussions of that trip are that now Ahmed has to answer questions about Nikolai on his entrance into the USA. Where was he born? What's his job? etc, etc. About a guy who Ahmed has spent maybe one hour with aside from that border crossing.
Moral of the story: don't offer to take people you don't really know to the USA in your car.
We do not intend to visit the USA or fly American Airlines after this adoption, if there is any possible way to avoid it.
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