We met Licenciado Hugo Castillo, the big big DIF boss of Baja California this evening, and came away with an interview date for Saturday 27th September. As simple as that. Why were we bothering all the people doing the actual day to day work, when really, all it required was a word in the ear of the biggest boss of them all?
In contrast to his subordinate Lic. Solis, Lic Castillo clearly liked babies, and asked Maya's name, age and seemed charmed by her. Who couldn't be, I ask?? He said that once Mr Torres in Dubai sent the details of his home visit, they would review the situation. If everything matched up and made sense, they would confirm our interview dates on Monday 22nd.
Getting an interview date felt like an anticlimax. The past four months of intense struggle, frustration, lack of information, and tears was cleared up in a 20-minute meeting. Why, oh why, could this not have been decided back in May???
Anyhow, it's time to look forward, not back. Ahmed's flight is booked to arrive on Friday, 26th, and he will have a precious week with us.
We start to discuss the possibility of begging our judge to accept us doing our court hearing in that same week. The struggle goes on...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Sluggish System Gets an Oil Change
In the 36 hours it took me to fly from Abu Dhabi to Tijuana (yes, 36 hours!!), the wheels of the bureaucracy machine were slowly turning. Stuff was happening!
All the steps that were taking place:
1. Lic. Solis from DIF Mexicali or Lic. Sanchez from DIF Tijuana wrote to the Mexican consulate in Dubai and made contact with the very efficient and helpful Luis Torres.
2. Mr Torres visited the clinic where we did our home study, wrote a report stating that it was in fact licensed, above board, good to go, and emailed it to DIF.
3. DIF responded that they needed the original copy delivered to them.
4. Mr Torres put his original report in the post. Aida reminded Lic. Solis that she had said she'd accept an email or phone verification of the clinic.
5. DIF responded that they needed Mr Torres to go to our residence in Abu Dhabi (and those of other families from Dubai adopting in Mexico) to confirm that it does in fact really exist. No, we live in a box on the side of the street... Why would we make stuff like this up...? I don't know.
6. Mr Torres got the names of two of our friends and neighbours who could vouch for us.
7. Aida the lawyer discovered that Lic. Hugo Castillo, the big, big boss from DIF Mexicali (bigger even than Lic. Solis) would be in town on Thursday 19th September, and arranged a meeting.
All the steps that were taking place:
1. Lic. Solis from DIF Mexicali or Lic. Sanchez from DIF Tijuana wrote to the Mexican consulate in Dubai and made contact with the very efficient and helpful Luis Torres.
2. Mr Torres visited the clinic where we did our home study, wrote a report stating that it was in fact licensed, above board, good to go, and emailed it to DIF.
3. DIF responded that they needed the original copy delivered to them.
4. Mr Torres put his original report in the post. Aida reminded Lic. Solis that she had said she'd accept an email or phone verification of the clinic.
5. DIF responded that they needed Mr Torres to go to our residence in Abu Dhabi (and those of other families from Dubai adopting in Mexico) to confirm that it does in fact really exist. No, we live in a box on the side of the street... Why would we make stuff like this up...? I don't know.
6. Mr Torres got the names of two of our friends and neighbours who could vouch for us.
7. Aida the lawyer discovered that Lic. Hugo Castillo, the big, big boss from DIF Mexicali (bigger even than Lic. Solis) would be in town on Thursday 19th September, and arranged a meeting.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Maya's room
One of our projects for the six days I'm back in Abu Dhabi was to turn our spare bedroom into Maya's bedroom. So we blithely set about moving the spare bed into the study, the bookcase from the hallway to the study and the sofa from the study to Maya's room. At 1am. We suddenly realized that moving heavy furniture around in the middle of the night was probably not endearing us to the people living in the apartment below us. So went to sleep with books, pillows, bits of sofa, bed and shelves strewn between all our rooms.
One trip to Ikea later, and of course lots of help from Pickles the cat, here's what Maya's room looks like:
A wonderful paint job done by Tia Dawn and Tio Shawn too, by the way.
One trip to Ikea later, and of course lots of help from Pickles the cat, here's what Maya's room looks like:
A wonderful paint job done by Tia Dawn and Tio Shawn too, by the way.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Modes of transport
On Monday 8th September, Guadalupe the babysitter moved into our house to stay with Maya for ten nights.
I gave her a cuddle and understood what Ahmed must feel every time he's left Maya. Very sad!
One Way of Getting from Tijuana to Abu Dhabi (not recommended, too long):
Car #1: Drove to the San Ysidro border.
Foot: Walked across to the other side (El otro lado - in Spanish. It took me several weeks of hearing people refer to 'el otro lado', before I realized they meant San Diego. Makes it sound very alluring...which it is).
Trolley: (No, not a shopping trolley, a tram for us non-Americans) to San Diego centre.
Train #1: San Diego to Oceanside. Amazing views along the way of the coast, and at times, the train was practically on the beach. Beautiful with the sun setting.
Train #2: Caught another commuter train to Los Angeles centre. Incidentally, a Metrolink train, which three days later had a horrific crash, killing more than 25 people.
Bus: Airport shuttle to LAX.
Plane #1:Los Angeles to Toronto. Sat in the lounge for four hours, because all those connections were so amazingly efficient. The flight before mine was an Air New Zealand to Auckland, so sat eavesdropping on all these strong keewee accents. Wishing that Maya and I were taking the same plane.
Plane #2: Toronto to Abu Dhabi.
Car #2: Ahmed came to pick me up!
Bed: Not a mode of transport, but very welcome at the end of all those planes, trains and automobiles. Literally.
I think the only modes of transport missing there are horse, hot air balloon and spaceship.
I gave her a cuddle and understood what Ahmed must feel every time he's left Maya. Very sad!
One Way of Getting from Tijuana to Abu Dhabi (not recommended, too long):
Car #1: Drove to the San Ysidro border.
Foot: Walked across to the other side (El otro lado - in Spanish. It took me several weeks of hearing people refer to 'el otro lado', before I realized they meant San Diego. Makes it sound very alluring...which it is).
Trolley: (No, not a shopping trolley, a tram for us non-Americans) to San Diego centre.
Train #1: San Diego to Oceanside. Amazing views along the way of the coast, and at times, the train was practically on the beach. Beautiful with the sun setting.
Train #2: Caught another commuter train to Los Angeles centre. Incidentally, a Metrolink train, which three days later had a horrific crash, killing more than 25 people.
Bus: Airport shuttle to LAX.
Plane #1:Los Angeles to Toronto. Sat in the lounge for four hours, because all those connections were so amazingly efficient. The flight before mine was an Air New Zealand to Auckland, so sat eavesdropping on all these strong keewee accents. Wishing that Maya and I were taking the same plane.
Plane #2: Toronto to Abu Dhabi.
Car #2: Ahmed came to pick me up!
Bed: Not a mode of transport, but very welcome at the end of all those planes, trains and automobiles. Literally.
I think the only modes of transport missing there are horse, hot air balloon and spaceship.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Going home sans bébé
The emotional meltdown didn't happen this time. Ahmed went back to Abu Dhabi and I kept it together. Knowing that DIF is finally doing something to move our case forward definitely helps to keep the despair at bay. Also, I have to go back to Abu Dhabi next week. The consequences of letting my residence visa expire and applying for a new one are potentially just too complicated for even us bureaucracy old-hands to consider. Even though I'm feeling horribly guilty and sad about leaving Maya behind with the babysitter for a week, the prospect of having a break back in our real life (ha ha) feels good.
Back in March, when the end of the process was an unguessable date, I plucked 9th September out of thin air to return to Abu Dhabi. I thought I was being generous, and would most likely be bringing that date forward to August, or even July, if lucky. Another sarcastic ha ha.
I decided to keep that original flight (plus side: don't have to pay for changing dates - always look on the bright side of life). But now I have to book return flights back from Abu Dhabi - Mexico City, which is where Maya and I will end this odyssey (at least in Mexico) when we finally get to the point of applying for her passport. So I jumped online to my favourite flight booking website: travelocity or yahoo travel and proceeded to book my flights. Piece of cake. Another sarcastic ha ha. Nine hours, ten automatically cancelled bookings, three heated arguments with several automatons from off-shore call centres, about $100 in phone calls to same call centres, one frustrated argument with Ahmed over Skype, and hopefully not thousands and thousands of dollars of credit bills later...we finally get the flights booked. Actually Ahmed did, bless his patient, resilient socks, as I gave up in anger and frustration and finally went to bed at about 2am.
I would still, however, recommend that website for booking flights. Hint: make sure your billing address is 100% correct, the phone number you put has someone at the end to contact, and you include a ZIP code. UAE doesn't have ZIP codes. Hence our downfall on the ten cancelled bookings... 0000 didn't work. Neither did 90210.
Back in March, when the end of the process was an unguessable date, I plucked 9th September out of thin air to return to Abu Dhabi. I thought I was being generous, and would most likely be bringing that date forward to August, or even July, if lucky. Another sarcastic ha ha.
I decided to keep that original flight (plus side: don't have to pay for changing dates - always look on the bright side of life). But now I have to book return flights back from Abu Dhabi - Mexico City, which is where Maya and I will end this odyssey (at least in Mexico) when we finally get to the point of applying for her passport. So I jumped online to my favourite flight booking website: travelocity or yahoo travel and proceeded to book my flights. Piece of cake. Another sarcastic ha ha. Nine hours, ten automatically cancelled bookings, three heated arguments with several automatons from off-shore call centres, about $100 in phone calls to same call centres, one frustrated argument with Ahmed over Skype, and hopefully not thousands and thousands of dollars of credit bills later...we finally get the flights booked. Actually Ahmed did, bless his patient, resilient socks, as I gave up in anger and frustration and finally went to bed at about 2am.
I would still, however, recommend that website for booking flights. Hint: make sure your billing address is 100% correct, the phone number you put has someone at the end to contact, and you include a ZIP code. UAE doesn't have ZIP codes. Hence our downfall on the ten cancelled bookings... 0000 didn't work. Neither did 90210.
Friday, August 29, 2008
The six month dilemma
With Maya hitting the age of six months, I find we're facing a bunch of issues that hadn't been anticipated.
Eating
She's just now started eating solids, and while it's sweet for her to be sitting on my knee, it's not practical, and we both end up with orange sweet potato (or whatever) everywhere. Buying a high chair for two (three? four?) months is just silly.
Maya helping herself to rice cereal
Sleeping
She's almost too big for the little crib that we have for her, and so I have started putting her on the other side of my bed, surrounded by pillows. But, she's now discovered she can move the pillows, and likes to roll, very quickly, in any direction. I have managed to catch her before she gets dangerously close to the edge so far. But this has also brought another problem with it. She used to put herself to sleep quite well, but I can't let her anymore, in case in my absence from the room she shifts a pillow, wriggles away and plops over the edge of a very high bed for a tiny baby. So I now have to lie beside her, holding her hand or patting her till she drops off. Which is exactly what we shouldn't be doing at this age if we ever want to her be an independent sleeper... Again, buying a cot for two (three? four?) months is just silly. She's back in the crib in the meantime, though she's looking very big in there.
Mobility
Little punky baby now eyes up other parts of the room, and I'm sure she's thinking: hmmm, if I could only lift my bum up a bit, move these little legs a bit, and coordinate my hands, I'd be able to get there. Hmmm, that plug socket looks tasty. Hmm, that life size ceramic Dalmation under the TV looks like a good bongo drum. Ooh, dead fly on the ground, yum yum. I'm praying she doesn't figure out how to crawl till we're back in Abu Dhabi, and living in a more manageable environment.
Maya trying her hardest to get from her spot to all the tasty goodies around the room.
Visa
If I am out of the UAE for more than six months, my residence visa will expire. So I'm now facing the prospect of leaving Maya behind with the babysitter, who'll live in our place while I'm gone, and flying back there to say: hi, I'm here, don't cancel my visa, then flying back. It's almost become our commute: Abu Dhabi - Mexico. 28 hours or so, at $2,000 a pop. Madness.
Work
I have six months' leave at work, and that's due to end soon. I will still have a job to go back to, but the end of the salaried months is going to be tough. And not having any idea when I might possibly be back doesn't help anyone at the Council.
Permit
Our adoption permit - that hard won document that came with our FM3 visas - also has a six month expiry date on it. That's not going to expire until December, but if it does, I hate to think what hoops we'll have to jump through to get another one. (Ha ha, little note added on 28th Sept: turns out it was only valid for 3 months, so actually expired in early September. Another flipping hoop to jump through to get that one renewed...)
The general weariness of being in a place you don't want to be for too long
That one was just added, because sometimes I feel like this.
Eating
She's just now started eating solids, and while it's sweet for her to be sitting on my knee, it's not practical, and we both end up with orange sweet potato (or whatever) everywhere. Buying a high chair for two (three? four?) months is just silly.
Maya helping herself to rice cereal
Sleeping
She's almost too big for the little crib that we have for her, and so I have started putting her on the other side of my bed, surrounded by pillows. But, she's now discovered she can move the pillows, and likes to roll, very quickly, in any direction. I have managed to catch her before she gets dangerously close to the edge so far. But this has also brought another problem with it. She used to put herself to sleep quite well, but I can't let her anymore, in case in my absence from the room she shifts a pillow, wriggles away and plops over the edge of a very high bed for a tiny baby. So I now have to lie beside her, holding her hand or patting her till she drops off. Which is exactly what we shouldn't be doing at this age if we ever want to her be an independent sleeper... Again, buying a cot for two (three? four?) months is just silly. She's back in the crib in the meantime, though she's looking very big in there.
Mobility
Little punky baby now eyes up other parts of the room, and I'm sure she's thinking: hmmm, if I could only lift my bum up a bit, move these little legs a bit, and coordinate my hands, I'd be able to get there. Hmmm, that plug socket looks tasty. Hmm, that life size ceramic Dalmation under the TV looks like a good bongo drum. Ooh, dead fly on the ground, yum yum. I'm praying she doesn't figure out how to crawl till we're back in Abu Dhabi, and living in a more manageable environment.
Maya trying her hardest to get from her spot to all the tasty goodies around the room.
Visa
If I am out of the UAE for more than six months, my residence visa will expire. So I'm now facing the prospect of leaving Maya behind with the babysitter, who'll live in our place while I'm gone, and flying back there to say: hi, I'm here, don't cancel my visa, then flying back. It's almost become our commute: Abu Dhabi - Mexico. 28 hours or so, at $2,000 a pop. Madness.
Work
I have six months' leave at work, and that's due to end soon. I will still have a job to go back to, but the end of the salaried months is going to be tough. And not having any idea when I might possibly be back doesn't help anyone at the Council.
Permit
Our adoption permit - that hard won document that came with our FM3 visas - also has a six month expiry date on it. That's not going to expire until December, but if it does, I hate to think what hoops we'll have to jump through to get another one. (Ha ha, little note added on 28th Sept: turns out it was only valid for 3 months, so actually expired in early September. Another flipping hoop to jump through to get that one renewed...)
The general weariness of being in a place you don't want to be for too long
That one was just added, because sometimes I feel like this.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
This won't be our week
We have both been extremely nervous in the past two days, wondering if, by some miracle, we will get a phone call to drop everything and come into DIF to do our interviews.
A meeting with the state director for adoptions was called for Wednesday afternoon at 5.30pm, and with that, we realized that there was no way we would be able to do our interviews before Ahmed leaves, as his flight is from San Diego on Thursday morning. No chance of squeezing in a four hour interview and a two hour wait at the border beforehand.
Licenciada Rosa Maria Solis had come from Mexicali, the Baja California state capital, to talk to us about the hold ups. Unlike the Tijuana coordinator, Solis didn't comment on how beautiful the babies are, or even really seem that interested. She explained that because the UAE and Mexico don't have any official contracts regarding international adoptions, they need to ensure that the clinics where we did our homestudies in Dubai meet the Mexican requirements. It seems like such a simple thing. She explained that they would contact the relevant Mexican authority (the embassy) and ask them to investigate and write a report, in order to proceed to the next step - these precious interviews.
So, there you have it. Three months of wondering why on earth they couldn't do our interviews, and now we know. How simple a thing. Ahmed has had a lot of contact with the consul from the consulate, who is really sympathetic to our predicament, and has already asked what she can do to help. And we know the clinic where we did our homestudies will do everything to help us out.
While we feel relieved that there is finally something tangible to work with, it's bittersweet to be getting this information 12 hours before Ahmed leaves. Ah well, we've had a wonderful three weeks, and Ahmed's witnessed Maya truly sitting on her own, eating her first solid food, graduating from Level One at Gymboree and starting to say all kinds of interesting things: dja dja, ga ga, wah wah, yah yah, ba ba, ma ma, da da, ta ta!
A meeting with the state director for adoptions was called for Wednesday afternoon at 5.30pm, and with that, we realized that there was no way we would be able to do our interviews before Ahmed leaves, as his flight is from San Diego on Thursday morning. No chance of squeezing in a four hour interview and a two hour wait at the border beforehand.
Licenciada Rosa Maria Solis had come from Mexicali, the Baja California state capital, to talk to us about the hold ups. Unlike the Tijuana coordinator, Solis didn't comment on how beautiful the babies are, or even really seem that interested. She explained that because the UAE and Mexico don't have any official contracts regarding international adoptions, they need to ensure that the clinics where we did our homestudies in Dubai meet the Mexican requirements. It seems like such a simple thing. She explained that they would contact the relevant Mexican authority (the embassy) and ask them to investigate and write a report, in order to proceed to the next step - these precious interviews.
So, there you have it. Three months of wondering why on earth they couldn't do our interviews, and now we know. How simple a thing. Ahmed has had a lot of contact with the consul from the consulate, who is really sympathetic to our predicament, and has already asked what she can do to help. And we know the clinic where we did our homestudies will do everything to help us out.
While we feel relieved that there is finally something tangible to work with, it's bittersweet to be getting this information 12 hours before Ahmed leaves. Ah well, we've had a wonderful three weeks, and Ahmed's witnessed Maya truly sitting on her own, eating her first solid food, graduating from Level One at Gymboree and starting to say all kinds of interesting things: dja dja, ga ga, wah wah, yah yah, ba ba, ma ma, da da, ta ta!
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