Maya Walking

Maya hanging in Mexico

Maya in her rapper outfit with a giant flan!


Sergio with his nephew (Maya's new boyfriend??) and Maya


Cute...


Maya's new friend Sergio

Maya in Mexico, Mama & Papa in Abu Dhabi

Firstly, I've been overwhelmed by all the love out there. So many amazingly supportive messages here, on Facebook & email. It's been waterworks all week! Why is it that messages of support make me cry so much?

Last week, since that stinky Tuesday which had me howling with rage and frustration in Pepi's courtyard, I spent four days manically trying to get everything in place to leave Maya with her new foster family & packing up and leaving Tijuana. On Friday, Fiona, the twins, Maya & I went to Myrna's house. Myrna, her two daughters, & her niece and her husband will be looking after Maya until we can bring her home. They are a wonderful family, full of love, and they looked after the twins before Fiona arrived in Mexico. That's another benefit. Maya will still have contact with Fiona & the twins, as she loves playing with them. Margot & Maya especially enjoy each other's company and sit there giggling at each other, while Margot's brother Clifford sits between them wondering why the girls aren't giggling at him. I have a feeling they'll be firm friends throughout their lives. Fiona's, the twins' mummy, also spent the rest of the week taking care of me, and particularly, ensuring I didn't spend the whole week just eating biscuits. She's not only the best cook I've ever met, but also an amazingly kind & insightful person. All this on top of looking after two active, gorgeous little babies.

Here's Myrna, Maya, the twins, Myrna's niece and husband in their home. They also have a dance studio attached to their house, which is an amazing space for an about-to-walk baby to cruise around. Full of Swiss Balls, mirrors, carpeted and an amazing sound system. Maya will return to us doing the samba.

Now back in Abu Dhabi. Confused by all the new traffic systems. We're waiting to hear how long it's likely to be until BM is out of her gigantic pickle and ready to sign off. The logistic details of our near future are uncertain, but one thing is for sure: soon Maya will be here with us, terrorising Pickles the cat, swimming in the pool at the Club, charming all the neighbours with her gigantic grins, being her unstoppable, inquisitive, adventurous self with her mama & papa in tow.

The post I dreaded writing

BM didn't sign today and I feel like our world has ended. I'm going back to Abu Dhabi as soon as I can. BM says she will sign in about 2 or 3 months, when the major problem in her life will be over, and when she does, one of us will come back and pick up Maya then. I can't bear to look at Maya, as it's breaking my heart to think I'm leaving her. The alternative is more frightening, it's a black, terrifying abyss of going over the edge of sanity. Maya doesn't deserve to be looked after by the person I would be if I stayed here. Ahmed equally doesn't deserve to live with the wrecked shell who's going to arrive back in Abu Dhabi. Why is this so hard? Because there is the terrifying uncertainty of there never being an end to our case. Moving to Mexico may be our only option, and frankly, for our daughter, we would do anything.

Ants & butterflies

I have ants in my pants. I can't sit still and sleeping last night was hardly on the agenda. This afternoon at 2.00pm, Licenciada Carolina, 3rd secretary of Judge Licenciada Dalila from the First Family Court of Tijuana, has an appointment to see Maya's birth mother, for her third attempt (last two were 28th Nov and 9th Dec) to get her ratification of her earlier signature and consent to the adoption and final signature on the adoption documents. This is that one crazy little detail we've been waiting for since October 29th, and given the promises of BM to finally pull through, we desperately, desperately hope that this time it'll happen. If it does, I can picture the jubilation. Am filling in the long minutes until that time as best as possible. Fiona and the twins have been doing a marvellous job of distracting me over the past few days with trips and yummy food.

Sixth time lucky

No, I know that's not how the saying goes. Yesterday, I drove Ahmed across the border to San Diego to fly home for the sixth time since we began this odyssey. Guadalupe and kids came to stay the night with Maya, and we went over and stayed the night in San Diego, since Ahmed's flight was fairly early in the morning. Of course we had to go to secondary inspection, but this time, we were both finally feeling so light-hearted and hopeful, that it wasn't stressful and in fact, we had some very nice border guards! It was a positive blast.
Thai meal, Borders bookshop, Lafayette Hotel - aging behemoth of a hotel, grand once upon a time, but not now - airport, Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Tijuana. I've done that route so often now, that the car practically drives itself.
Ahmed said goodbye to Playas, to Pepi's place, to Aida, to the fish tacos stand, to Guadalupe and kids, as we know he's not coming back again. Our adoption is so close to finishing. We can feel it in our bones/gut/any other organs that fit this idiom.
Just a few more days now till we know for sure that the BM has signed and ratified. This will be the third time lucky. That's the saying. Am twiddling my thumbs trying to keep busy in the meantime. Maya's busy exploring and getting into stuff. Including falling over and biting her lip, poor bunny, which then bled, and she had a fat lip all day. I'm now trailing her like a bad smell, but she's just so determined to be everywhere, go everywhere, I can't keep her in one place!!!

Maya getting into stuff...

Hanging with her papa

Funky new hat & scarf knitted by Dadima on her last trip

Can I please get a refund for this crystal ball? It doesn't appear to be working.

By Monday morning we were no closer to really deciding what to do. We drove to Rosarito to go and have coffee and hunt down the best massage therapist in the Northern Hemisphere, who's gone awol, unfortunately. Every ten minutes or so, we tried calling Aida to find out whether the BM's request to do the ratification had made it in to our court, and what that meant in terms of when it might take place. Our biggest question, these days. When? When? When? This innocent question is always the first thing we get asked by anybody who finds out we're adopting here: so when will it be finished? Ha ha ha. Wait while I consult my crystal ball...um, sometime in mid August last year would be my guess.

When we spoke to Aida, it turns out that yes, the request had been lodged at court first thing in the morning, and would likely be picked up by the judge's secretary for its publication on Tuesday, in which case Carolina, the judge's secretary, could go to get the signature and ratification on Friday, at the earliest. If she has time in her crazy schedule.

Today, Aida managed to speak to our judge, who has agreed to release Carolina to go and get the signature and ratification. Aida spoke to Carolina, who will be able to go on Friday at the earliest, but only if one of her other hearings that day is cancelled, as she's working round the clock at the moment. Otherwise, next week.

So, there's the situation. Not much different on the surface from earlier: we're waiting on tenterhooks for the judge's secretary to go and see the BM to get the signature. Might be on Friday, might be next week some time.

Here are the differences, however:
If, at the last minute, the BM doesn't sign and ratify this time, Maya will go and stay with a foster mother, and I will go back to Abu Dhabi until she signs.
The BM has now realized this and does not want me to go, hopefully enough of a push to get that ratification.
The BM has promised not just Aida, but the slightly more scary male lawyer she took to see her on Saturday as well, that she will ratify.
This time the request to ratify (to the judge of our family court) has come from the BM herself, rather than our lawyer.

Are these differences enough to make it actually happen this time? My crystal ball is blank. Who knows? We can only hope so. We're surrounded by lucky charms, hopes and prayers and good wishes coming from all corners of the globe. Without noticing, I bought some Lucky brand jeans on Saturday, and everytime I see the little tag: Lucky You, I wonder if it is a sign... We'll look anywhere for signs these days! I consult the card game on the computer for answers. Ahmed touches the lucky baby (that's Maya) when the phone rings, hoping for good news. I changed the ring tone on my cellphone, as the sound of the previous one just reminded me too much of all the bad news I'd received on it. Would have changed it again, but realised I might run out of ring tones before finding the one that brought good news. We've turned all superstitious in our desperation. Anyway, now's the time, surely. Scarily, we've said that many times since about April. Maybe this time it's true.

Now, at least, I feel in a way that we are in control of the situation to a small extent. If she signs, adoption is finalized two weeks later, and we go home. If she doesn't sign, I go home, Maya stays here, in a couple of months I come back when adoption is finalized - and it will be, there is a reason why it definitely will be in a couple of months compared to the possibly will be now, but can't disclose that here - and then we go home. So at least we've made that decision.