This week has been one of those completely frenetic up and down experiences. Last weekend, when we were despairing at the possibility of ever hearing from DIF about when we could go for our home study interviews (with psychologist and social worker), suddenly an email arrived saying, you can have your interviews on...the following day. In Tijuana. A 30-hour flight away. Not even remotely possible that one without a teleporting machine.
We requested interviews between 28th Nov and 3rd Dec about two months ago, knowing that we would have a week holiday then, and suddenly they decide to issue us with appointment dates on the 21st November. It just seemed a bit ridiculous. Anyway, we asked Aida to beg the DIF folk to postpone for one week, which she said she'd try to do. By Friday evening in Tijuana we'd been told that we'd have to wait until Monday, as the coordinator couldn't get hold of the psychologist or social worker to arrange dates.
What followed were three very stressful days wondering if we'd be flying out a week later, unable to book tickets just in case we couldn't, worrying as there's the biggest public holiday this weekend and half of Abu Dhabi are flying out at the same time, and to top it all off, our internet disconnected itself and would not reconnect.
For three days, we sat and waiting, Maya and I nursing stinking colds, doing all our interneting at work and kind neighbours' houses, waiting, waiting, waiting, and checking online tickets to make sure the prices weren't skyrocketing while we had to wait.
Tuesday morning at 6am (TJ Monday 6pm) we got the news that yes, we could have our court hearing and DIF interviews all next week! Some miracle in Mexican bureacracy terms.
Since that moment we've been doing everything in super-speedy fast-forward mode, rushing to book flights, pack, sort out cat feeder, find cold weather clothes (which tend to get stashed into dark crevisses in wardrobes in this country and forgotten about until a flight to a cold place springs up), buy some gifts, clothes for our new baby(!), arrange car rental, accommodation, get over our colds, call up Etisalat for the tenth time to yell at them for being so slack about fixing the internet, keep making appearances at work, try not to let the stress completely take over and just collapse in a pile on the floor, etc, etc. And we managed it, plus managed to get our front door handle fixed (no more entering the house through the study window, yes, really!), get the printer fixed. The only down note amongst all this was Ahmed catching our cold, which Maya and I have now managed to shake.
Now we're off in two hours and the reality of actually going to meet Sammy is starting to hit. Little man. Who got his first tooth a day or two ago. Wow. A boy. Our lives are so 'pink' right now, but that is set to change. Camera is at the ready to take masses of photos of this baby who is about to have his world changed radically! Bossy big sister Maya is on her way to show him what's what.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Here's Samuel
Samuel - aka 'Baby Baby', our code word for him when we were still in shock about him and simultaneously trying to deal with the traumas of Maya's adoption - was born on 13th June this year.
Here he is in Maya's former bath...
...wearing Maya's former jumpsuit...
...staying with Maya's former foster family
I solemnly swear to you kiddo: when you are finally home, I promise to get you your own things so you're not relying on your big sister's hand-me-downs!
In the last six months of Maya's adoption, we were dealing with the beginnings of the likelihood that we would adopt her biological brother, who was born just a few weeks after we left Mexico. As it turns out, it's all gone ahead, and this beautiful wee boy, who looks just like a bouncing version of Maya with more hair, is currently staying with Mirna and her family, while we wait for (take a guess right now which government agency, or institution, or person is holding up the process this time? Given our previous track record it could be DIF, could be the court, the judge, the BM, the visa office, or just the man on the street)...ta da...DIF to give the green light and issue us with dates to appear for our interviews for the homestudies.
Amazingly, BM has already been to court and signed off (that one final stage of Maya's adoption that was so agonizingly long last time), we have the other judge this time, who is allowing us to appear in court pretty much any time, we got our FM3 visas from the Mexican Consulate in Dubai in half an hour!!! Sorry, italics and bold just to highlight to enormous difference between this time and last, which took six weeks of hand-wringing misery in Tijuana right at the start of the process. The only sticking point now is #@!%$# Lic. Solis at DIF, who is busy painting her toenails once again and not committing to making decisions. All other DIF officials seem to be pushing to get our case through, but ultimately they have no power. Anyway, we sit and wait, once again.
Major differences this time: Samuel is staying with Mirna, and we are staying in Abu Dhabi, during the process. Initially we wanted to protect ourselves emotionally, since it wasn't a given that this adoption would go ahead. Also, taking another long stretch of extended unpaid leave from my job isn't really an option, financially. Luckily, I should still scrape in with 4-5 months of adoptive leave before my contract finishes in June, so I will get some time off - the adoption had better be well and truly finished by then, though!!!
So yes, Baby Baby turned out to be a beautiful boy, we chose to call him Samuel because... it was about the only boy's name we both liked! Maya sees photos of him and says 'bebe', and we've been telling her she has a little brother and that we'll all be going to Mexico to see him soon & go to court & DIF, and hopefully, a month or two later, go back to Mexico, to bring him home. I never like to mention time estimates on this blog, as they never seem to work. All those attempts at positive visualization in Maya's case went so horribly wrong that I can't bring myself to predict anything much this time. Just hope that Solis will be suddenly transferred to the Ministry of Silly Cows or something and just get her sticky fingers out of our case.
Here he is in Maya's former bath...
...wearing Maya's former jumpsuit...
...staying with Maya's former foster family
I solemnly swear to you kiddo: when you are finally home, I promise to get you your own things so you're not relying on your big sister's hand-me-downs!
In the last six months of Maya's adoption, we were dealing with the beginnings of the likelihood that we would adopt her biological brother, who was born just a few weeks after we left Mexico. As it turns out, it's all gone ahead, and this beautiful wee boy, who looks just like a bouncing version of Maya with more hair, is currently staying with Mirna and her family, while we wait for (take a guess right now which government agency, or institution, or person is holding up the process this time? Given our previous track record it could be DIF, could be the court, the judge, the BM, the visa office, or just the man on the street)...ta da...DIF to give the green light and issue us with dates to appear for our interviews for the homestudies.
Amazingly, BM has already been to court and signed off (that one final stage of Maya's adoption that was so agonizingly long last time), we have the other judge this time, who is allowing us to appear in court pretty much any time, we got our FM3 visas from the Mexican Consulate in Dubai in half an hour!!! Sorry, italics and bold just to highlight to enormous difference between this time and last, which took six weeks of hand-wringing misery in Tijuana right at the start of the process. The only sticking point now is #@!%$# Lic. Solis at DIF, who is busy painting her toenails once again and not committing to making decisions. All other DIF officials seem to be pushing to get our case through, but ultimately they have no power. Anyway, we sit and wait, once again.
Major differences this time: Samuel is staying with Mirna, and we are staying in Abu Dhabi, during the process. Initially we wanted to protect ourselves emotionally, since it wasn't a given that this adoption would go ahead. Also, taking another long stretch of extended unpaid leave from my job isn't really an option, financially. Luckily, I should still scrape in with 4-5 months of adoptive leave before my contract finishes in June, so I will get some time off - the adoption had better be well and truly finished by then, though!!!
So yes, Baby Baby turned out to be a beautiful boy, we chose to call him Samuel because... it was about the only boy's name we both liked! Maya sees photos of him and says 'bebe', and we've been telling her she has a little brother and that we'll all be going to Mexico to see him soon & go to court & DIF, and hopefully, a month or two later, go back to Mexico, to bring him home. I never like to mention time estimates on this blog, as they never seem to work. All those attempts at positive visualization in Maya's case went so horribly wrong that I can't bring myself to predict anything much this time. Just hope that Solis will be suddenly transferred to the Ministry of Silly Cows or something and just get her sticky fingers out of our case.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Four months on...
To say that I literally haven't had a spare minute to add another post to this blog is not far from the truth.
We've been back in Abu Dhabi, Ahmed, Maya and I, all in the same country, same city, same house and, as much as possible, in the same room for four months now and it's bliss!
In a nutshell:
We passed through the airport fever checks again, coming into Abu Dhabi, again holding in coughs, which still (four months later) haven't gone away completely. I'm wondering if this is 14 months' worth of stress manifesting itself in a weakened immune system.
We moved into a new house in the outskirts of Abu Dhabi (picture a sandy, dusty wasteland with lots of construction) which is oh, such an improvement on traffic-clogged, accident-heavy, horn-honking, parking-nightmare central Abu Dhabi where we used to live! And we know that one day, the cranes will move on to somewhere even further out and who knows, maybe our dusty wasteland will turn into a pretty town with a park or something... we love our new house, the space, the garden (not yet done), the patio, the balcony, even the mosque right outside the bedroom window that lets us know the call to prayer at 4am...
I went back to work (sigh) and started that juggling act that is mothering full-time, working full-time, studying half-time, eating biscuits to keep going and collapsing in bed every night at 2am for a bit of sleep.
Maya and I had the loveliest baby shower - complete with 14-month old Maya attending - thrown for us by Robyn, Kate and Dawn, and I felt the beginnings of a sense that it's all just going to be OK, after all.
We go to The Club most weekends, and Maya spends the whole time in the pool with any of her friends: Aida, Sam (in boat with her), Josh, James, Masha, Victor, Gabriel, Isabelle, Kai, Pace or Hobie.
Maya's got her Abu Dhabi residence visa, her Canadian citizenship has been applied for (might take 18 months they say), she goes to nursery two mornings a week, is going to start swimming lessons soon, we've joined a mums and toddlers group, and she's growing more and more delightful (and headstrong!) by the day. She delights us with her happy, relaxed nature, her cuddles, her kisses, her funny expressions:
meno (nemo) = fish
pitoo (pickles) = cat
poo poo = nappy
shoes go car = put my shoes on, let's go out in the car now!
where you are? = where are you/where is it?
etc
her dancing:
She adores Pickles the cat, and Pickles finally gets all the attention she craves with her little number one fan, albiet a fairly boisterous one. Maya loves her dolls, and makes sure they get fed, given water, given a bath and put to bed just like her. She also loves her cars (brmm, brmm) and her farm animals, her shoes, her handbags, and basically just finds everything a big adventure.
Our adventure, however, isn't completely over yet. Still more to come, and one day, in the distant future, we'll both sit back and go: ahhhhhhhh, can we rest now?
We've been back in Abu Dhabi, Ahmed, Maya and I, all in the same country, same city, same house and, as much as possible, in the same room for four months now and it's bliss!
In a nutshell:
We passed through the airport fever checks again, coming into Abu Dhabi, again holding in coughs, which still (four months later) haven't gone away completely. I'm wondering if this is 14 months' worth of stress manifesting itself in a weakened immune system.
We moved into a new house in the outskirts of Abu Dhabi (picture a sandy, dusty wasteland with lots of construction) which is oh, such an improvement on traffic-clogged, accident-heavy, horn-honking, parking-nightmare central Abu Dhabi where we used to live! And we know that one day, the cranes will move on to somewhere even further out and who knows, maybe our dusty wasteland will turn into a pretty town with a park or something... we love our new house, the space, the garden (not yet done), the patio, the balcony, even the mosque right outside the bedroom window that lets us know the call to prayer at 4am...
I went back to work (sigh) and started that juggling act that is mothering full-time, working full-time, studying half-time, eating biscuits to keep going and collapsing in bed every night at 2am for a bit of sleep.
Maya and I had the loveliest baby shower - complete with 14-month old Maya attending - thrown for us by Robyn, Kate and Dawn, and I felt the beginnings of a sense that it's all just going to be OK, after all.
We go to The Club most weekends, and Maya spends the whole time in the pool with any of her friends: Aida, Sam (in boat with her), Josh, James, Masha, Victor, Gabriel, Isabelle, Kai, Pace or Hobie.
Maya's got her Abu Dhabi residence visa, her Canadian citizenship has been applied for (might take 18 months they say), she goes to nursery two mornings a week, is going to start swimming lessons soon, we've joined a mums and toddlers group, and she's growing more and more delightful (and headstrong!) by the day. She delights us with her happy, relaxed nature, her cuddles, her kisses, her funny expressions:
meno (nemo) = fish
pitoo (pickles) = cat
poo poo = nappy
shoes go car = put my shoes on, let's go out in the car now!
where you are? = where are you/where is it?
etc
her dancing:
She adores Pickles the cat, and Pickles finally gets all the attention she craves with her little number one fan, albiet a fairly boisterous one. Maya loves her dolls, and makes sure they get fed, given water, given a bath and put to bed just like her. She also loves her cars (brmm, brmm) and her farm animals, her shoes, her handbags, and basically just finds everything a big adventure.
Our adventure, however, isn't completely over yet. Still more to come, and one day, in the distant future, we'll both sit back and go: ahhhhhhhh, can we rest now?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Toronto, Ont.
Yep, that's right, that's where Maya, her papa and I have now been for more than 24 hours. We're here with Ahmed's parents and Maya's now met tonnes of new cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, second cousins, third cousins and has enjoyed every minute of it. She's a happy little flea, and has all these wonderful people and toys to play with, so she's loving it. And she's gone straight back to her papa as if he'd hardly been gone.
Getting Maya's passport was a doddle (after a minor drama of going to the wrong passport office, despite numerous checks on the matter) after all these crazy months.
24 hours after the application was made on Monday morning, it was ready to be picked up. I have to admit I wasn't really ready for something to be done so quickly, so we waited until Wednesday to pick it up. Actually, I wandered back to the passport office on Tuesday, only to discover the office closed at 3.00pm and we were there at 3.10pm. Ah well, we weren't leaving till Thursday anyway, so what's the rush?
Maya and I had four days in Mexico City, checking out the sights, eating in cool cafes, going to the zoo - biggest hits for Maya: the porcupines, lemurs and prairie dogs, of all the strange things. Hippo - yeah, whatever. Elephant - yeah, seen them in books. Lions - nah. Rhino - nup. Funny what things interest a 14-month old.
Ahmed left Abu Dhabi on Thursday morning, 14 hours later, arrived in Toronto airport, and nearly gave his mother, father and sister heart attacks by surprising them by being there. Then a couple of hours later, we popped out of the plane, had the easiest customs walk-through ever. I admit, I was worried. Baby on Mexican passport, mother on NZ passport, both of us with coughs (yes, that's right, arriving from Mexico...) But, it was also a doddle. What's going on? The stars are truly lining up and shining an easy path for us. It's nice for a change.
Back to AD on Thursday, if Maya's visa is ready, which it should be, then back to our 'real life', whatever that may be...!
Getting Maya's passport was a doddle (after a minor drama of going to the wrong passport office, despite numerous checks on the matter) after all these crazy months.
24 hours after the application was made on Monday morning, it was ready to be picked up. I have to admit I wasn't really ready for something to be done so quickly, so we waited until Wednesday to pick it up. Actually, I wandered back to the passport office on Tuesday, only to discover the office closed at 3.00pm and we were there at 3.10pm. Ah well, we weren't leaving till Thursday anyway, so what's the rush?
Maya and I had four days in Mexico City, checking out the sights, eating in cool cafes, going to the zoo - biggest hits for Maya: the porcupines, lemurs and prairie dogs, of all the strange things. Hippo - yeah, whatever. Elephant - yeah, seen them in books. Lions - nah. Rhino - nup. Funny what things interest a 14-month old.
Ahmed left Abu Dhabi on Thursday morning, 14 hours later, arrived in Toronto airport, and nearly gave his mother, father and sister heart attacks by surprising them by being there. Then a couple of hours later, we popped out of the plane, had the easiest customs walk-through ever. I admit, I was worried. Baby on Mexican passport, mother on NZ passport, both of us with coughs (yes, that's right, arriving from Mexico...) But, it was also a doddle. What's going on? The stars are truly lining up and shining an easy path for us. It's nice for a change.
Back to AD on Thursday, if Maya's visa is ready, which it should be, then back to our 'real life', whatever that may be...!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Mexico, D.F.
It seems that only the tourists call it Mexico City. The cool people say: D.F. (Districto Federal). And yeah, Mexico City is coooool. Cool people around. Cool looking places. Tijuana is light years away. Maybe that's just my rosy-tinted first impression, and tomorrow I'll find all the broken footpaths (sidewalks, pavements for all you non-NZ folk), homeless people, grime and dust.
I had about 44 kg of luggage, in two suitcases, including Maya's travel cot, and allsorts of accumulated schtuff. I'd say about 5 kg of that was the gigantic dossier that Aida handed me on Friday night. Probably more stuff than we'll need to apply for Maya's passport, but we're dotting all the i's and crossing all the t's, just to be on the safe side. I feel rather tentative carrying around these 14 months' worth of blood, sweat and tears (predominantly tears). Sat up late on Friday night reading some of these documents, our DIF reports, BM's DIF reports, final decree, etc etc. Everything has been stamped and signed to within an inch of its life.
Tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn, we'll be up and off to passport office, and should soon have an idea of how long it'll take before we're off and outta here.
Maya seems to take all this moving, flying, sleeping in strange places, in her stride. She is such a 'coqueta' - little flirt - and bats her eyelids at everyone, flashes cheeky grins, and does little dances, and offers people her half-chewed pieces of cheese.
Not long now...
I had about 44 kg of luggage, in two suitcases, including Maya's travel cot, and allsorts of accumulated schtuff. I'd say about 5 kg of that was the gigantic dossier that Aida handed me on Friday night. Probably more stuff than we'll need to apply for Maya's passport, but we're dotting all the i's and crossing all the t's, just to be on the safe side. I feel rather tentative carrying around these 14 months' worth of blood, sweat and tears (predominantly tears). Sat up late on Friday night reading some of these documents, our DIF reports, BM's DIF reports, final decree, etc etc. Everything has been stamped and signed to within an inch of its life.
Tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn, we'll be up and off to passport office, and should soon have an idea of how long it'll take before we're off and outta here.
Maya seems to take all this moving, flying, sleeping in strange places, in her stride. She is such a 'coqueta' - little flirt - and bats her eyelids at everyone, flashes cheeky grins, and does little dances, and offers people her half-chewed pieces of cheese.
Not long now...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Photos from Adoption Day
Here's Maya & her verrrrrrry happy mum on adoption day
Playas de Tijuana, Friday 8th May
Fiona, Clifford, Margot, Maya, Emma, Aisha and Elsa at Playas de Tijuana
Fiona, Margot, Clifford, Aisha, Elsa, Maya & Emma off to the beach for a swim...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Adoption Day! 414 days later...
Friday 8th May, 2009. Official adoption day! 414 days after first meeting Maya.
We had a lovely day yesterday. Got up early and drove to the court to see our judge and plead our case to issue the final decree asap. I was shaking in my boots, Maya was charming everybody left, right and centre with smiles, waves, toddles, dah dah dah, etc.
Saw the judge, in her office, with her assistant, one of her secretaries and another random lawyer, and she was lovely. Came and gave us a big hug, big kiss to Maya, said, right, where's their case? to her assistant, let's get this finished, these people have suffered enough, what a beautiful girl, blah, blah, blah. And as we were standing there, me agog, too nervous to get any words out, the assistant pulled out our case, and they got working on it right there on the spot. Wow.
The final decree was issued today, and now, Ahmed and I are Maya's parents, totally, officially, completely, irrevocably, forever. What an amazing relief!
Next steps (just so you know):
Monday 11th: Adoption order is published on court's public announcements website, and our lawyer submits some papers we signed
Wednesday 13th: Adoption papers are ready to be picked up from court
Wed or Thur: Apply for Maya's birth certificate with her new name and us as her parents. She has been Maya Iliana Noriega Medina until now and will become Maya Bulbulia Smart
Same day (hopefully): pick up the translations of adoption decree, birth certificate, and get them notarized
Same day (possibly): leave to Mexico City
Next day: Apply for Maya's passport
??? days later: Get passport/birth cert/adoption decree notarized at three different ministries in Mexico City. Scan copies and send to ??? to apply for visit visa to UAE
Same day: leave Mexico to Toronto, avoiding the USA, as Maya won't be able to land there as a Mexican citizen without a visa (takes months to apply for apparently).
So, potentially, we're looking at being out of here in 2 weeks' time...! I thought we'd be at this stage when I arrived in Tijuana, hence the rather frustrated feeling when I first got here, and had the swine flu scare, but now it's full steam ahead!
In the meantime, Ahmed's found a villa to move into in Abu Dhabi, just off the island, so since our lives are obviously very boring and we need more excitement, he's going to move, possibly in the next two weeks. Madness!
We had a lovely day yesterday. Got up early and drove to the court to see our judge and plead our case to issue the final decree asap. I was shaking in my boots, Maya was charming everybody left, right and centre with smiles, waves, toddles, dah dah dah, etc.
Saw the judge, in her office, with her assistant, one of her secretaries and another random lawyer, and she was lovely. Came and gave us a big hug, big kiss to Maya, said, right, where's their case? to her assistant, let's get this finished, these people have suffered enough, what a beautiful girl, blah, blah, blah. And as we were standing there, me agog, too nervous to get any words out, the assistant pulled out our case, and they got working on it right there on the spot. Wow.
The final decree was issued today, and now, Ahmed and I are Maya's parents, totally, officially, completely, irrevocably, forever. What an amazing relief!
Next steps (just so you know):
Monday 11th: Adoption order is published on court's public announcements website, and our lawyer submits some papers we signed
Wednesday 13th: Adoption papers are ready to be picked up from court
Wed or Thur: Apply for Maya's birth certificate with her new name and us as her parents. She has been Maya Iliana Noriega Medina until now and will become Maya Bulbulia Smart
Same day (hopefully): pick up the translations of adoption decree, birth certificate, and get them notarized
Same day (possibly): leave to Mexico City
Next day: Apply for Maya's passport
??? days later: Get passport/birth cert/adoption decree notarized at three different ministries in Mexico City. Scan copies and send to ??? to apply for visit visa to UAE
Same day: leave Mexico to Toronto, avoiding the USA, as Maya won't be able to land there as a Mexican citizen without a visa (takes months to apply for apparently).
So, potentially, we're looking at being out of here in 2 weeks' time...! I thought we'd be at this stage when I arrived in Tijuana, hence the rather frustrated feeling when I first got here, and had the swine flu scare, but now it's full steam ahead!
In the meantime, Ahmed's found a villa to move into in Abu Dhabi, just off the island, so since our lives are obviously very boring and we need more excitement, he's going to move, possibly in the next two weeks. Madness!
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