Saturday, August 23, 2008

End of another husband visit

Ahmed is going home on Thursday. That horrible date looms and we've been here before. He's preparing to leave, and I'm preparing to rant and cry from the stress and frustration of being no closer to leaving Mexico. The last time Ahmed left Tijuana to go back to work was in June. We could never have imagined in our wildest nightmares that at the end of August, he'd be doing the same thing, and we'd be at exactly the same stage in the process as we were back then: months from the go home date.
Maya didn't seem fazed by having a weeping mama feeding her and putting her to sleep back in June, but I wonder if she really isn't affected by all my crying and anger.

Today is Saturday, and there are exactly 5 days left until he goes. The empty feeling of terror is lurking, and I'm trying to fight it with positive images of my darling girl, my darling husband here right now, the beautiful courtyard outside, Gymboree classes, and the eternal flicker of hope that something might shift - someone with the power might decide that yes, we will interview these tenacious buggers who are determined to adopt Maya, and what the heck, let's do it while Ahmed's still here, since we agree, it really is crazy to make the poor fellow fly half way round the world again, just for a four hour interview.

1 comment:

Dadima said...

Emma, This is fascinating reading.
The paperchase is like an unending maze, but it has to end, soon
Maya is so precious and loved dearly by all..