Woke up early, tidied up (what do you do when today's 'visitor' is your new baby?), and went out. I bought a cellphone and called Aida, the lawyer. See you at 11am, she said, we'll drive out to Playas and bring Maya.
Wow, as simple as that.
I took the black sling and went to meet Aida, BM (the biological mother), her two-year old daughter and Maya. No idea what to expect or how I would feel. We met at the park around the corner from Pepi's place. Shook hands with Aida and BM. Aida took Maya out of her carseat and put her into my arms, along with a half-full bottle. Lesley pranced about. I just stood there, with this baby in my arms, not even sure if I should be looking at her, at BM, at the lawyer, at the trees, walk away, cry, laugh, make small talk? What the hell do you do in this situation? Even an hour later, I couldn't recall much about that event, as the shock was too great. My body was moving, and I was talking and walking, but nothing was registering. Maya went into the black sling. I had to hide her away from everybody, this little doll. Lesley poked her hands into the sling and pinched Maya on her cheek, making her cry, which at least elicited the appropriate response from me: comfort the baby. So I started to soothe her and realised that this is it. She's mine. I'm hers. We're in this together.
Aida drove me about 25 metres down the road, handed me some custody papers and I walked back to Pepi's. I closed the door behind me, and took Maya out to look at her. Tiny, scrunched up, floppy little baby. Perfect round face. Tiny little lips, and delicious little button nose. Fists clenched tight. Toes as small as raindrops. My goodness.
Wow, as simple as that.
I took the black sling and went to meet Aida, BM (the biological mother), her two-year old daughter and Maya. No idea what to expect or how I would feel. We met at the park around the corner from Pepi's place. Shook hands with Aida and BM. Aida took Maya out of her carseat and put her into my arms, along with a half-full bottle. Lesley pranced about. I just stood there, with this baby in my arms, not even sure if I should be looking at her, at BM, at the lawyer, at the trees, walk away, cry, laugh, make small talk? What the hell do you do in this situation? Even an hour later, I couldn't recall much about that event, as the shock was too great. My body was moving, and I was talking and walking, but nothing was registering. Maya went into the black sling. I had to hide her away from everybody, this little doll. Lesley poked her hands into the sling and pinched Maya on her cheek, making her cry, which at least elicited the appropriate response from me: comfort the baby. So I started to soothe her and realised that this is it. She's mine. I'm hers. We're in this together.
Aida drove me about 25 metres down the road, handed me some custody papers and I walked back to Pepi's. I closed the door behind me, and took Maya out to look at her. Tiny, scrunched up, floppy little baby. Perfect round face. Tiny little lips, and delicious little button nose. Fists clenched tight. Toes as small as raindrops. My goodness.
1 comment:
OK, I am crying. I remember this moment, I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to look at my precious baby, smell her, kiss her, and let her know we would always be together. And I had those thoughts what I am suppose to do, look at everyone or cry or dance when all I wanted was to be in her world.
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